Resolution: a firm decision to do or not do something.
Why are these so hard to keep?
I'll tell you why, because our perceptions of resolutions have nothing to do with firm decisions and everything to do with wishes. When we resolve to quit smoking or eating or whatever on New Year's Day, what we are really saying is, "I really hope I can stop doing that this year". It's all a big lie we tell ourselves so that we don't feel bad about all of our failed resolutions from last year!
All right, rant over. I appologize.
This year I am setting goals for myself. Goal: the destination of a journey. That's more like it. No more broken promises, or feeling guilty because I ate a half a pizza (my husband ate the other half, why doesn't he feel guilty?) Goals are good. I am a "goal oriented person", meaning, that once I decide on a journey, I'm pretty good at making it happen. I make lists, I love lists, and then complete them. So, I will approach 2009 like a good list of goals.
#1. get pregnant! I know, it's shocking, but I think we're going to be ready to maybe have a baby in 2010, but I need a summer baby, so I want to try to get pregnant in the fall of '09. I know I'm over planning, but that's what I do, it's who I am.
In order to accomplish #1 though, I need to do some things first, so let's make it #5.
#1 (for reals) lose 30 pounds-hopefully. That's about how much you gain during pregnancy, right? I think it might be a realistic number. I'm starting a food journal, then meeting with this really awesome lady in our church who is a nutrition guru, and we're going to look at what I eat, how often I eat, why I eat (that one's gonna suck) to see what we can improve upon gradually. I'm very excited about it.
#2 pay off serious debt. I like this one. We moved in with my parents and sold our very expensive little car, so we're on our way. I can't put a date on this, but I want to be debt free asap. #5 might have to be delayed because of this, not sure yet. Of course people say that if you wait to have a baby until everything is perfect, you'll never have one, but I know a couple who planned it out perfectly. They waited 8 years, finished school, bought the house and car, took the vacation to Europe, then had the baby. They are my heroes (you know who you are (Jen & John))
#3 .....um...actually, I think we're gonna move #5 here, because that's all I can think of that I really want to accomplish this year.
Don't get me wrong, there a dozens of things I want to do; sponsor more World Vision children, have a successful worship conference for my church, have Selah's cd finally come out. But those aren't list-worthy things. Those are just things that will happen whether I put them on a list or not.
So, some weight loss, less debt and almost baby. I think that's enough for one year.
Now, I know that you might have been expecting some super spiritual "resolutions" from me, like, reading my Bible more, praying more, memorizing scripture more. But the truth is, we should be doing those, I should be doing those things every day. Those are daily goals I always want to accomplish. Sometimes I suck at it. But I am trying.
Anyways, feel free to list your goals for 2009 in a comment. I would love to see what you all are planning for next year. All 9 of you!!!
amy
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Busy Busy Busy
Hey there to all 6 of you... :)
It seems there aren't enough hours in the day. Are you finding yourself so incredibly busy that you forget to do really important things, like...go to the bathroom? or eat lunch? That's where I am right now.
We have had 8 shows already this year, and this past weekend alone I was on 11 different airplanes. At this moment, I am at work getting ready to go to a viewing of my best friend's mother, who passed away this week. Then I have to go the airport to leave for Texas for 3 more shows.
Busy.
I did, however, learn some interesting things this week about sleep, and I'm very excited to share them with you, just not today because I'm too busy. :(
So, I will post next week with some interesting sleep tips and how they relate to weight loss. (I talked to a sleep doctor!)
Ta Ta
amy
It seems there aren't enough hours in the day. Are you finding yourself so incredibly busy that you forget to do really important things, like...go to the bathroom? or eat lunch? That's where I am right now.
We have had 8 shows already this year, and this past weekend alone I was on 11 different airplanes. At this moment, I am at work getting ready to go to a viewing of my best friend's mother, who passed away this week. Then I have to go the airport to leave for Texas for 3 more shows.
Busy.
I did, however, learn some interesting things this week about sleep, and I'm very excited to share them with you, just not today because I'm too busy. :(
So, I will post next week with some interesting sleep tips and how they relate to weight loss. (I talked to a sleep doctor!)
Ta Ta
amy
Monday, December 8, 2008
Forgive Me
I'm so sorry it's been more than a month since I blogged. I guess I didn't think anyone would notice. Sorry. What have I been doing you ask? Well....
Working
Painting
Packing
Moving
Unpacking
Cleaning
Christmas Shopping
Reading all 4 Twilight books
Seeing Twilight - don't judge me - it's just a great love story!! Read it, I dare you. I promise my HSR (Holy Spirit Radar) did not go off. It's not demonic or witch crafty, just beautiful. Anyways...
Touring
Thanksgiving-ing
And I'm exhausted!!
Sadly, nowhere on that list is Exercising, oops. I honestly have not been focused on it. Life is too short to think about food all day long, and I've been so worn out just being so busy. In fact, I've been too busy. I'm looking forward to December 23. I'll be on tour until then, and I get home on Monday, Dec 22. So I plan on sleeping 'till noon on Tuesday. We're even skipping the massive prime rib dinner we do for Christmas this year, because it's just so much work. We'll be having Christmas brunch and an easy dinner. No fuss, no stress.
Jake and I also moved in with my parents last week. That was a lot of work, but it looks great. They have a 3 story split-level home and we're renting the downstairs, it's actually bigger than our apartment, so that's cool, and it's cheaper, so yay! We also sold our cute litte car that cost us almost $500 a month, so we're very focused on getting debt free in 2009. Woot! (Woot= gamer term for woo hoo)
I have some goals for next year, not really New Years Resolutions, but just goals I would like to achieve, so maybe I'll post those closer to the New Year.
Those of you 10 readers, thanks for continuing to check the blog, and thanks to the couple of you who have shamed me into blogging again :) I need the encouragement and accountability.
Talk to you soon
amy
Working
Painting
Packing
Moving
Unpacking
Cleaning
Christmas Shopping
Reading all 4 Twilight books
Seeing Twilight - don't judge me - it's just a great love story!! Read it, I dare you. I promise my HSR (Holy Spirit Radar) did not go off. It's not demonic or witch crafty, just beautiful. Anyways...
Touring
Thanksgiving-ing
And I'm exhausted!!
Sadly, nowhere on that list is Exercising, oops. I honestly have not been focused on it. Life is too short to think about food all day long, and I've been so worn out just being so busy. In fact, I've been too busy. I'm looking forward to December 23. I'll be on tour until then, and I get home on Monday, Dec 22. So I plan on sleeping 'till noon on Tuesday. We're even skipping the massive prime rib dinner we do for Christmas this year, because it's just so much work. We'll be having Christmas brunch and an easy dinner. No fuss, no stress.
Jake and I also moved in with my parents last week. That was a lot of work, but it looks great. They have a 3 story split-level home and we're renting the downstairs, it's actually bigger than our apartment, so that's cool, and it's cheaper, so yay! We also sold our cute litte car that cost us almost $500 a month, so we're very focused on getting debt free in 2009. Woot! (Woot= gamer term for woo hoo)
I have some goals for next year, not really New Years Resolutions, but just goals I would like to achieve, so maybe I'll post those closer to the New Year.
Those of you 10 readers, thanks for continuing to check the blog, and thanks to the couple of you who have shamed me into blogging again :) I need the encouragement and accountability.
Talk to you soon
amy
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Chin Out!
Ladies, I have a friend who sticks her chin out every time she takes a picture, thus creating a thinner face and no double chin!
Check it out!! My face looks so skinny!!!
Check it out!! My face looks so skinny!!!
Thanks to my buddy Jo for the great pic.
Woot!
amy
Monday, October 20, 2008
I'm Okay
I said I would tell you about my great fall of 2007, so here it goes:
Selah had a show in Charlotte, North Carolina. The church was huge, it was actually a K-12 school as well as a church and the sanctuary was rather far from where our dressing rooms were. We had to walk around the back, then down a steep flight of stairs. Throughout the evening we made our way back and forth, back and forth, no problem. There is a point in our concerts when Allan does a “solo” piece, and Todd and I leave the stage. Todd went to the restroom, and I went down the steep tile stairs alone, in my 3½ inch Carlos Santana sling backs. I felt very cute, wearing black slacks, a little black top and white fuzzy sweater shawl that I got at Old Navy and had already torn the tags off when I realized the reason it fit so well was because it was maternity (sad face) and my Carlos Santana shoes. As I embarked down the stairs, which were roughly 15-17 stairs deep with a little platform that at a right angle led to another flight of stairs about 7-9 deep, I thought to myself, “I could fall down these stairs and die because no one would find me!” So, I grabbed tightly to the rail and slowly made my way down, successfully.
After the concert we came back downstairs, then back upstairs for autographs, but it wasn’t until the final trip down the stairs that my ability to walk upright failed me. Todd, Allan, our road manager Shawn and I were laughing as we approached the staircase, about what I do not recall. I thought to myself, “I had better grab the…”, and then it happened. Todd describes it as looking like I purposely dove headfirst attempting a perfect 10, Shawn describes it as purely shocking, and Allan can’t describe it at all because he could barely inhale before I descended the stairs, headfirst. Luckily my right arm was extended because I was reaching for the railing, so I put it out in front of me to block the blows, but not in time to keep my chin from smacking on the tile stair. Snap! My head flew back and in that moment all I could think was, “Hold your head back so you don’t break your teeth!” As I made my way down the stairs at what seemed like slow motion and lightning speed at the same time, I realized that the boys were screaming. I wanted them to know that I was okay. So as I belly-flopped my way down the stairs with my head arched back and my right arm leading the way, I shouted, “I’M OKAY, I’M OKAY, I’M OKAY,” all the way down. When I finally landed at the little platform below I quickly tried to push myself up before the boys could get to me, and with a failed attempt at getting up, which looked more like a pathetic push up, I uttered on last, “I’m okay” and plopped my face down on my extended arms. “No you’re not,” said Todd and he took my right arm and Shawn took my left arm to pull me up. Now, you must be wondering what’s the first thing I said when I stood up. I said three things, in this very order.
“My SHOE!!” You see, my Carlos Santana shoe was the cause of it all. The right heel had caught in a broken piece of tile and as I flew out of it, it stayed behind at the top of the stairs. When I turned to look for it, I’ll never forget what I saw. Allan Hall still at the top of the stairs with the most shocked expression on his face, mouth agape holding by its strap, my one Carlos Santana shoe. “It’s all I could think to do,” he said.
“My GUT!” I said this, not because my gut hurt from the massive trip it took down the stairs protecting my inner organs from injury, but because on the trip down my cute black pants had made their way down below the “muffin top” I try so hard to cover up, and the little black top had made its way up under my bra strap, and there, in all it’s plus size glory my gut hung out of my clothes for all the boys to see.
“I’m okay, really” trying to convince myself probably more than anyone else. It turns out my gut did protect me from injury. I had 2 CT scans, and an X-Ray, and other than some huge disgusting bruises all over my body, there was nothing wrong with me. It took me a while to recover I still have a knot in my upper thigh, traumatized muscle they call it, to always remind me to hold the railing while walking down stairs. This story has become one of “best of” Selah stories we like to tell when we’re sitting around with new people. But politely the boys always skip over the part where I bared my belly to them. Sadly, that is the most embarrassing part of the story for me.
amy
Selah had a show in Charlotte, North Carolina. The church was huge, it was actually a K-12 school as well as a church and the sanctuary was rather far from where our dressing rooms were. We had to walk around the back, then down a steep flight of stairs. Throughout the evening we made our way back and forth, back and forth, no problem. There is a point in our concerts when Allan does a “solo” piece, and Todd and I leave the stage. Todd went to the restroom, and I went down the steep tile stairs alone, in my 3½ inch Carlos Santana sling backs. I felt very cute, wearing black slacks, a little black top and white fuzzy sweater shawl that I got at Old Navy and had already torn the tags off when I realized the reason it fit so well was because it was maternity (sad face) and my Carlos Santana shoes. As I embarked down the stairs, which were roughly 15-17 stairs deep with a little platform that at a right angle led to another flight of stairs about 7-9 deep, I thought to myself, “I could fall down these stairs and die because no one would find me!” So, I grabbed tightly to the rail and slowly made my way down, successfully.
After the concert we came back downstairs, then back upstairs for autographs, but it wasn’t until the final trip down the stairs that my ability to walk upright failed me. Todd, Allan, our road manager Shawn and I were laughing as we approached the staircase, about what I do not recall. I thought to myself, “I had better grab the…”, and then it happened. Todd describes it as looking like I purposely dove headfirst attempting a perfect 10, Shawn describes it as purely shocking, and Allan can’t describe it at all because he could barely inhale before I descended the stairs, headfirst. Luckily my right arm was extended because I was reaching for the railing, so I put it out in front of me to block the blows, but not in time to keep my chin from smacking on the tile stair. Snap! My head flew back and in that moment all I could think was, “Hold your head back so you don’t break your teeth!” As I made my way down the stairs at what seemed like slow motion and lightning speed at the same time, I realized that the boys were screaming. I wanted them to know that I was okay. So as I belly-flopped my way down the stairs with my head arched back and my right arm leading the way, I shouted, “I’M OKAY, I’M OKAY, I’M OKAY,” all the way down. When I finally landed at the little platform below I quickly tried to push myself up before the boys could get to me, and with a failed attempt at getting up, which looked more like a pathetic push up, I uttered on last, “I’m okay” and plopped my face down on my extended arms. “No you’re not,” said Todd and he took my right arm and Shawn took my left arm to pull me up. Now, you must be wondering what’s the first thing I said when I stood up. I said three things, in this very order.
“My SHOE!!” You see, my Carlos Santana shoe was the cause of it all. The right heel had caught in a broken piece of tile and as I flew out of it, it stayed behind at the top of the stairs. When I turned to look for it, I’ll never forget what I saw. Allan Hall still at the top of the stairs with the most shocked expression on his face, mouth agape holding by its strap, my one Carlos Santana shoe. “It’s all I could think to do,” he said.
“My GUT!” I said this, not because my gut hurt from the massive trip it took down the stairs protecting my inner organs from injury, but because on the trip down my cute black pants had made their way down below the “muffin top” I try so hard to cover up, and the little black top had made its way up under my bra strap, and there, in all it’s plus size glory my gut hung out of my clothes for all the boys to see.
“I’m okay, really” trying to convince myself probably more than anyone else. It turns out my gut did protect me from injury. I had 2 CT scans, and an X-Ray, and other than some huge disgusting bruises all over my body, there was nothing wrong with me. It took me a while to recover I still have a knot in my upper thigh, traumatized muscle they call it, to always remind me to hold the railing while walking down stairs. This story has become one of “best of” Selah stories we like to tell when we’re sitting around with new people. But politely the boys always skip over the part where I bared my belly to them. Sadly, that is the most embarrassing part of the story for me.
amy
Saturday, October 4, 2008
I figured it out!
I figured out how to put pics up!! So this is me, a while ago, but I still look the same, in all my plus size glory! Actually, this is one of the few pictures of me I actually like. But it's only fair to show you what I miss looking like, so here are some pictures of me over the years....
Another good one...And finally, the one titled "Skinny Amy"
This right here is my goal...180!!!
You know, some I know lost their husband today in a tragic car accident. It breaks my heart. She's younger than I am and has two small children. As I was praying today I realized something: Life is too short, too fleeting to stress myself out about looking amazing. Don't get me wrong, I want to lose weight, but it can't be something I obsess over.
I want to spend my time in the Word.
I want to spend my time worshiping God.
I want to spend my time with my husband and family so they know they are so very important to me.
I will exercise and work on my eating habits, but this "addiction" will not have me, and neither will the "obsession" of trying to be something I used to.
Tonight I will lie down in bed next to my wonderful husband and I will weep for this young widow, and I will hold Jake tight and thank God that I still have him.
Tonight I will be thankful for all that I have.
"Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." - James 4:14
amy
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Addiction
This is kind of a hard one for me to write about. I don't know if I might have shared this comment on one of my earlier blogs, but the first time I really realized I had a problem was about 4 years ago when a friend of mine and I were having a bad day. She had been fighting with her husband, and I was just really stressed out. I remember sitting at my table, both of us eating out of some kind of pan, some kind of chocolate gooey goodness. Even though I can't quite remember what we were grubbing on, I remember her statement vividly..."Man, if we were alcoholics, we'd be drunk right now."
Well, I'm not an alcoholic, but I do have an addiction. When people think of "addiction" they think of drugs, or alcohol, or sex; all very bad things when done in excess, or at all (except that 3rd one, that's great if you're married :). Anyways, we don't often think of being addicted to something we can live without, and I guess that's why it's difficult to admit, "I have a food addiction."
But there it is. "I have a food addiction."
Don't misunderstand. I don't eat anything and everything any time I want all the time; it's not like that. It's more like a way to self soothe.
For instance, Monday was not a good day for me. I had been out of town all weekend with the boys (otherwise known as Selah) and we had a great weekend. The show was so wonderful, the church treated us amazing, they showed us so much love, our manager came out with us and we got to know him better and have a 5 hour long meeting on the drive back home. It was great...and exhausting. I arrived home Saturday night at 10pm PST, having awoke that morning at like 8am EST...time changes stink! Immediately upon returning home my husband an I stopped at In-and-Out. I know it wasn't a great choice, but man it's good!! And we don't have it very often (sounds like good justification to me, right?) It was midnight by the time I got home. I awoke early Sunday morning to prepare a track that our pastor had asked me to sing to. Do you know how long it's been since I sang to a track in church? This particular track was on cassette tape, and I haven't sang it since before I moved to Nashville in 2000. Very old track, amazing song. (Alabaster Box-for those who are wondering). With not much rest on Sunday afternoon we had a worship service Sunday night, also amazing and exhausting.
Monday morning I felt like I was hit by a freight train. I was physically exhausted, but woke up at 8am anyways because of major pain in my jaw...my sister the dental hygienist thinks I have TMJ..anyways, lots of pain. So, jaw ache, headache, and pretty much full body ache combined with jet lag...a recipe for disaster. And then the drama came.
For personal reasons, I cannot divulge what kind of drama entered my life, but it was several things, from several sources that I was unprepared to deal with on a Monday morning. Have I mentioned I'm a dude? Don't get me wrong, I have compassion, I love romatic comedies and purple fingernail polish, I cry at sappy movies and commercials. I just am not equiped emotionally to handle petty drama, and things that others want to blow out of proportion. And Monday morning some things got blown out of proportion and I wanted to scream.
To be truthful, by the end of the day all I really wanted to to was drown myself in a vat of chocolate ice cream. In fact, it's all I thought about all day. Like I had an appointment after dinner with Ben & Jerry and I couldn't wait for it to come. That, my friends is addiction.
I had to go to the grocery store for real food, and I made a point to skip the frozen isle. It was very hard, but I realized something on Monday. I'm so used to indulging my "addiction" whenever I feel my day has gone bad enough, that I don't even realize I'm doing it. Then I got to thinking, how many times have I justified gorging on dessert at the end of a "bad day" because I "deserved it"?
So now I get to start thinking about my pattern of self soothing; how often do I do it? What can I do to combat it? Can I ever just eat ice cream because it tastes good, not because it makes me feel good?
This week a wonderful woman at church came to me and offered to help me with my food. Which basically means, I get to write down everything I ate all week long, and then we can talk about what is good, what isn't, and how to substitute more good for the not so good. I'm so pleased she approached me. Then we get to sit down and talk about why I eat...I think I'm figuring that out daily, I'm really excited, although a little embarrassed to show her my food log. :(
amy
ps...kickboxing was awesome last night, and by "awesome" I mean I didn't fall down!!!
Well, I'm not an alcoholic, but I do have an addiction. When people think of "addiction" they think of drugs, or alcohol, or sex; all very bad things when done in excess, or at all (except that 3rd one, that's great if you're married :). Anyways, we don't often think of being addicted to something we can live without, and I guess that's why it's difficult to admit, "I have a food addiction."
But there it is. "I have a food addiction."
Don't misunderstand. I don't eat anything and everything any time I want all the time; it's not like that. It's more like a way to self soothe.
For instance, Monday was not a good day for me. I had been out of town all weekend with the boys (otherwise known as Selah) and we had a great weekend. The show was so wonderful, the church treated us amazing, they showed us so much love, our manager came out with us and we got to know him better and have a 5 hour long meeting on the drive back home. It was great...and exhausting. I arrived home Saturday night at 10pm PST, having awoke that morning at like 8am EST...time changes stink! Immediately upon returning home my husband an I stopped at In-and-Out. I know it wasn't a great choice, but man it's good!! And we don't have it very often (sounds like good justification to me, right?) It was midnight by the time I got home. I awoke early Sunday morning to prepare a track that our pastor had asked me to sing to. Do you know how long it's been since I sang to a track in church? This particular track was on cassette tape, and I haven't sang it since before I moved to Nashville in 2000. Very old track, amazing song. (Alabaster Box-for those who are wondering). With not much rest on Sunday afternoon we had a worship service Sunday night, also amazing and exhausting.
Monday morning I felt like I was hit by a freight train. I was physically exhausted, but woke up at 8am anyways because of major pain in my jaw...my sister the dental hygienist thinks I have TMJ..anyways, lots of pain. So, jaw ache, headache, and pretty much full body ache combined with jet lag...a recipe for disaster. And then the drama came.
For personal reasons, I cannot divulge what kind of drama entered my life, but it was several things, from several sources that I was unprepared to deal with on a Monday morning. Have I mentioned I'm a dude? Don't get me wrong, I have compassion, I love romatic comedies and purple fingernail polish, I cry at sappy movies and commercials. I just am not equiped emotionally to handle petty drama, and things that others want to blow out of proportion. And Monday morning some things got blown out of proportion and I wanted to scream.
To be truthful, by the end of the day all I really wanted to to was drown myself in a vat of chocolate ice cream. In fact, it's all I thought about all day. Like I had an appointment after dinner with Ben & Jerry and I couldn't wait for it to come. That, my friends is addiction.
I had to go to the grocery store for real food, and I made a point to skip the frozen isle. It was very hard, but I realized something on Monday. I'm so used to indulging my "addiction" whenever I feel my day has gone bad enough, that I don't even realize I'm doing it. Then I got to thinking, how many times have I justified gorging on dessert at the end of a "bad day" because I "deserved it"?
So now I get to start thinking about my pattern of self soothing; how often do I do it? What can I do to combat it? Can I ever just eat ice cream because it tastes good, not because it makes me feel good?
This week a wonderful woman at church came to me and offered to help me with my food. Which basically means, I get to write down everything I ate all week long, and then we can talk about what is good, what isn't, and how to substitute more good for the not so good. I'm so pleased she approached me. Then we get to sit down and talk about why I eat...I think I'm figuring that out daily, I'm really excited, although a little embarrassed to show her my food log. :(
amy
ps...kickboxing was awesome last night, and by "awesome" I mean I didn't fall down!!!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Falling Down
Hey there all,
Sorry it's been a couple of weeks. I didn't realize it had been that long since I posted. I feel good, but I don't feel like I've lost any weight. The week before last I didn't exercise at all! I was having trouble sleeping through the night so I overslept my alarm almost every morning. We have this new mattress, and my husband loves it, and I don't. He sleeps heavier now, so even with a CPAP mask on, he snores and the stupid mask blows cold air at my face, and makes this high pitched whistling sound; it's aweful!! So, I'm not sleeping very well.
I realized that with major morning exhaustion, I'm going to have to work out after work. So, I joined a kickboxing class. My sister, Lexi, with the perfect body and metabolism, takes kickboxing 2-3 days a week and has been trying to get me to join with her forever. I went last Tuesday and it was crazy.
I didn't want to go. All day, I thought, "How can I get out of this?" So, I called my mom and offered Lexi ride, thus obligating myself to go! I only had one real goal for the class Tuesday. Some might think that it should have been to feel good. Others might think it should have been to enjoy myself. But my one real "WIN" for the night was, "Please God, don't let me fall down!"
You see, I have this problem. Whatever a person has in their brain, or chemistry, or equilibrium that helps them to always walk upright and not bump into things, I don't have it. I fall down all the time. Sometimes I trip over obvious things, sometimes I trip over nothing, literally, NOTHING! In fact, one of my favorite Selah moments involves me falling, but that is a story for another day...
So, my "Win" for the night was to stay upright and not look like an idiot in front of a room full of strangers. I bet you're wondering if I accomplished my one goal.
I did not.
About 3/4 through the class the instructor made us take some laps jogging around the room and his wife jogged along side me. Her fatal mistake was speaking to me while I was trying to do something athletic. She asked how I was doing, and I responded by falling on my face! Lexi ran by with a grin on her face, and my friend Kat, who also takes the class, just didn't look down at me (but I'm sure she was laughing!). The instructor and his wife helped me up and told me it wasn't the first time someone fell, and I told them it probably wouldn't be the last time I fell.
I went to Fitness Kickboxing 3 days last week. Saturday was the worst. The instructor took caffeine before class, and turned up the heat. I almost puked! But I made it through, and I will be joining the club next week when my 2 free weeks are up.
I'm very excited about this. I pick my sister up for the class making it hard to flake, so it provides me the perfect accountability. Plus, it is kind of fun. Not a lot fun. :)
I hope you are all doing well. Maybe my next post will be the story of my infamous fall after a Selah concert.
amy
Sorry it's been a couple of weeks. I didn't realize it had been that long since I posted. I feel good, but I don't feel like I've lost any weight. The week before last I didn't exercise at all! I was having trouble sleeping through the night so I overslept my alarm almost every morning. We have this new mattress, and my husband loves it, and I don't. He sleeps heavier now, so even with a CPAP mask on, he snores and the stupid mask blows cold air at my face, and makes this high pitched whistling sound; it's aweful!! So, I'm not sleeping very well.
I realized that with major morning exhaustion, I'm going to have to work out after work. So, I joined a kickboxing class. My sister, Lexi, with the perfect body and metabolism, takes kickboxing 2-3 days a week and has been trying to get me to join with her forever. I went last Tuesday and it was crazy.
I didn't want to go. All day, I thought, "How can I get out of this?" So, I called my mom and offered Lexi ride, thus obligating myself to go! I only had one real goal for the class Tuesday. Some might think that it should have been to feel good. Others might think it should have been to enjoy myself. But my one real "WIN" for the night was, "Please God, don't let me fall down!"
You see, I have this problem. Whatever a person has in their brain, or chemistry, or equilibrium that helps them to always walk upright and not bump into things, I don't have it. I fall down all the time. Sometimes I trip over obvious things, sometimes I trip over nothing, literally, NOTHING! In fact, one of my favorite Selah moments involves me falling, but that is a story for another day...
So, my "Win" for the night was to stay upright and not look like an idiot in front of a room full of strangers. I bet you're wondering if I accomplished my one goal.
I did not.
About 3/4 through the class the instructor made us take some laps jogging around the room and his wife jogged along side me. Her fatal mistake was speaking to me while I was trying to do something athletic. She asked how I was doing, and I responded by falling on my face! Lexi ran by with a grin on her face, and my friend Kat, who also takes the class, just didn't look down at me (but I'm sure she was laughing!). The instructor and his wife helped me up and told me it wasn't the first time someone fell, and I told them it probably wouldn't be the last time I fell.
I went to Fitness Kickboxing 3 days last week. Saturday was the worst. The instructor took caffeine before class, and turned up the heat. I almost puked! But I made it through, and I will be joining the club next week when my 2 free weeks are up.
I'm very excited about this. I pick my sister up for the class making it hard to flake, so it provides me the perfect accountability. Plus, it is kind of fun. Not a lot fun. :)
I hope you are all doing well. Maybe my next post will be the story of my infamous fall after a Selah concert.
amy
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Choices
Hey there all, sorry I didn't post earlier. I've received a lot of emails and posts asking how my 6 day slim down went, and all I can say is, ok. I don't feel like I lost an ounce. But that's very typical for me. I'm a "late bloomer" when it comes to weight loss. I felt great with all the veggies and fruit. In fact, I'm loving the fruity protein shakes for breakfast and the afternoon pitted cherries. I've also been almost enjoying the exercise. I actually walked from my apartment to the Target by us, 1.21 miles away in like, 90 degree weather. It was nice. I walked there, bought my items, and promptly called Jake to come get me 'cause there was no way I was walking back!!
Last night I had a little incident with some pizza at 9pm...not a good time to eat pizza, but I didn't eat the whole thing, so there's a vast improvement from my life 5 years ago, when I could have. But I figure every once in a while I'm allowed my indulgences. I'm learning not to describe my choices as "bad" or "good". When I do that, there is guilt associated with the "bad" choices, so I just say that I made a choice. I was thinking about some of my "bad" choices the other day, our praise team went to see Hillsongs United; they ruled, by the way. And there was a moment that just transported me back to 11 years ago when I was engaged as a young lady to a boy I was not supposed to marry. That was not a positive 2 years of my life. Then I started to remember some of the other choices I had made in my life; some "bad" financial and relational choices, but a lot of "good" ones.
I chose to break up with a guy that called me "too fat to marry",
I chose to attend the Oasis Worship Centre in Nashville, where I learned to truly worship God in Spirit and in truth,
I chose to say, "Yes", when a guy named Jake asked me if I wanted to have lunch,
I chose to proposed to him 5 months later (yes, I proposed to him!).
I've made a lot of good choices in my life and those good choices have brought me to where I am today. I've also made some pretty bad choices, but I don't regret them, because the good WAY outweighs the bad, and the bad ones have made me who I am; strong, independent, easygoing.
I've been listening to Michael English's new album, The Prodigal Comes Home, and I absolutely love it! My favorite song is "Don't Think I'm not Thankful". It basically says that everything he's been through has made him who he is today, and he's so thankful to God for it all, the good, the bad, all of it. If you don't have it, go out and buy the cd and the book that goes with it. You will weep at God's redemptive power.
Today try to think about the good choices you've made in life, and if there are a couple of bad ones in there, just remember how they've shaped your character and made you who you are today.
amy
Last night I had a little incident with some pizza at 9pm...not a good time to eat pizza, but I didn't eat the whole thing, so there's a vast improvement from my life 5 years ago, when I could have. But I figure every once in a while I'm allowed my indulgences. I'm learning not to describe my choices as "bad" or "good". When I do that, there is guilt associated with the "bad" choices, so I just say that I made a choice. I was thinking about some of my "bad" choices the other day, our praise team went to see Hillsongs United; they ruled, by the way. And there was a moment that just transported me back to 11 years ago when I was engaged as a young lady to a boy I was not supposed to marry. That was not a positive 2 years of my life. Then I started to remember some of the other choices I had made in my life; some "bad" financial and relational choices, but a lot of "good" ones.
I chose to break up with a guy that called me "too fat to marry",
I chose to attend the Oasis Worship Centre in Nashville, where I learned to truly worship God in Spirit and in truth,
I chose to say, "Yes", when a guy named Jake asked me if I wanted to have lunch,
I chose to proposed to him 5 months later (yes, I proposed to him!).
I've made a lot of good choices in my life and those good choices have brought me to where I am today. I've also made some pretty bad choices, but I don't regret them, because the good WAY outweighs the bad, and the bad ones have made me who I am; strong, independent, easygoing.
I've been listening to Michael English's new album, The Prodigal Comes Home, and I absolutely love it! My favorite song is "Don't Think I'm not Thankful". It basically says that everything he's been through has made him who he is today, and he's so thankful to God for it all, the good, the bad, all of it. If you don't have it, go out and buy the cd and the book that goes with it. You will weep at God's redemptive power.
Today try to think about the good choices you've made in life, and if there are a couple of bad ones in there, just remember how they've shaped your character and made you who you are today.
amy
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Learning
I am constantly amazed at how the human was made to learn. We start learning the instant we take a breath. By four days old, babies can distinguish their native tongue from others, and a newborn can know his mother's face within two days after birth. As we live and breathe we were created to learn and grow. I love a sermon preached by my friend and former pastor, Jillian Chambers, about enlarging our capacity. It’s one of those sermons that stuck with me. She talked about how God has so much to give us, and if we are content to stay at our current capacity, we will miss out on so much more that God has for us. For example, He could be waiting to pour a gallon’s worth of things into us but if we’re only a 20oz coke bottle, the rest is just excess; excess that we miss out on. She talked about enlarging our capacity to receive from God, the more we can receive, the more we can give. I love that! And so today I am endeavoring to “enlarge my capacity” when it pertains to understanding food, and what I can and cannot eat, and why I can or cannot eat it.
You see, today I learned something about myself. I once heard a woman say, “I’m fifty years old, I’m too old to change. I am who I am,” and it made me sad. I hope that I’m never too old to learn new things, and to learn things about myself that will help me change into more what God wants me to be. There is no one in the world perfect enough to say they don’t need to change (even a little). God desires us to continually check ourselves and seek His face so we can grow closer to Him, closer, stronger, better…you get the picture. So, again I say, today I learned something about myself.
This “something” isn’t profound. It isn’t the “thing” that will change my life. But I came to a realization today that I, absolutely, with all that is in me, HATE Italian dressing. I came to this realization when I went to pour some on my 4th salad this week, and I gagged a little. Those of you who know me personally know what happens when I gag even just a little. I have a really sensitive gag reflex, so sensitive, that I can think myself into puking if I just think about the right thing; flan, mayonnaise, someone’s surgical incision (gulp), tongues (I know, weird right?), and now, Italian dressing.
Like I said, not profound, but definitely helpful.
My six day slim down is going pretty well. I’m hungry a lot, and I want Starbucks more than I want a million dollars right now, but pretty well. Although, today I hit a new low when I almost George Castanza-ed a burned bagel out of the trash. I love burnt toast, (and any other bread product)!
So, my menu has consisted of basically protein such as chicken, beef, tuna and veggies, and some fruit. I also have been adding protein powder to my morning shake, yum (not), and raw almonds for snacks, which I’m beginning to dislike greatly as well.
Friday is my last day, I keep telling myself:
Carbs on Saturday
Carbs on Saturday
But not too much, I don’t want to ruin all the hard work I put in this week.
I also found that buying Jake snacks I don’t like is helpful. He can chow down on his nasty white chocolate covered pretzels or corndogs and I don’t’ care one bit!!
Thank you so much for all your support.
amy
You see, today I learned something about myself. I once heard a woman say, “I’m fifty years old, I’m too old to change. I am who I am,” and it made me sad. I hope that I’m never too old to learn new things, and to learn things about myself that will help me change into more what God wants me to be. There is no one in the world perfect enough to say they don’t need to change (even a little). God desires us to continually check ourselves and seek His face so we can grow closer to Him, closer, stronger, better…you get the picture. So, again I say, today I learned something about myself.
This “something” isn’t profound. It isn’t the “thing” that will change my life. But I came to a realization today that I, absolutely, with all that is in me, HATE Italian dressing. I came to this realization when I went to pour some on my 4th salad this week, and I gagged a little. Those of you who know me personally know what happens when I gag even just a little. I have a really sensitive gag reflex, so sensitive, that I can think myself into puking if I just think about the right thing; flan, mayonnaise, someone’s surgical incision (gulp), tongues (I know, weird right?), and now, Italian dressing.
Like I said, not profound, but definitely helpful.
My six day slim down is going pretty well. I’m hungry a lot, and I want Starbucks more than I want a million dollars right now, but pretty well. Although, today I hit a new low when I almost George Castanza-ed a burned bagel out of the trash. I love burnt toast, (and any other bread product)!
So, my menu has consisted of basically protein such as chicken, beef, tuna and veggies, and some fruit. I also have been adding protein powder to my morning shake, yum (not), and raw almonds for snacks, which I’m beginning to dislike greatly as well.
Friday is my last day, I keep telling myself:
Carbs on Saturday
Carbs on Saturday
But not too much, I don’t want to ruin all the hard work I put in this week.
I also found that buying Jake snacks I don’t like is helpful. He can chow down on his nasty white chocolate covered pretzels or corndogs and I don’t’ care one bit!!
Thank you so much for all your support.
amy
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Six Day Slim Down
Boy, doesn't that sound fun!! Six day slim down!! So, I recently purchased an exercise video called "Hip Hop Abs", it's actually a series of videos and it came with this guide to jump-starting your metabolism called "6 Day Slim Down". It's basically only vegetables, fruit and meat for 6 days, while you do the specific video they suggest on each day. I'm going to start it Sunday.
I'm going to start it Sunday.
I'm going to start it Sunday.
I figure if I say it enough, I'll actually build up the will power to do it!
I've also decided that my blog isn't funny. Not that it's supposed to be, but it's kind of boring. That's probably because no one knows about it, so today I'm posting a bulletin on my myspace...scary. It's really hard to open yourself up to criticism by admitting that something is hard for you, and that you're going to try really hard to be better at it.
One of my favorite Psalms is a popular one, and I love the entire chapter, so please, take the time to open your Bible and read the whole thing. It is Psalm 139, and I am learning everyday to consider myself this way.
When I look in the mirror and don't like what I see...
I'm going to start it Sunday.
I'm going to start it Sunday.
I figure if I say it enough, I'll actually build up the will power to do it!
I've also decided that my blog isn't funny. Not that it's supposed to be, but it's kind of boring. That's probably because no one knows about it, so today I'm posting a bulletin on my myspace...scary. It's really hard to open yourself up to criticism by admitting that something is hard for you, and that you're going to try really hard to be better at it.
One of my favorite Psalms is a popular one, and I love the entire chapter, so please, take the time to open your Bible and read the whole thing. It is Psalm 139, and I am learning everyday to consider myself this way.
When I look in the mirror and don't like what I see...
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand. (Psalm 139:13-18)
And so I open myself up a little more to the world, to scrutiny, to being made fun of or laughed at, and invite you in. It's okay if people see this blog and laugh, or don't like it, because I know what my Father thinks of me.
amy
amy
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Time
Time escapes me always. I just realized today that I haven't written anything in over a week...it's so easy to do. Our church's worship conference was this last weekend, as was my 31st birthday. I don't know when I got old, but somehow it happened. It seems like I've been old for a while; not old in the sense that I hobble or can't see or hear (well, the hearing part is true, but that's ear infection trauma...). I've always been somewhat of an "old soul". I don't like to go out late at night, I'd rather sit on the couch wrapped up in my blanket watching Lifetime movies. It seems like just yesterday I was graduating high school, now we're having an almost 15 year reunion next month.
It's crazy how time just flies by.
Even though I only have like one reader right now, I'm sorry that I haven't made the time to write. You can probably guess the if I haven't written, it's because I haven't made any progress...that's true. I just got "Hip Hop Abs" in the mail, and started that. Ouch! We'll see how that goes.
TTFN
amy
It's crazy how time just flies by.
Even though I only have like one reader right now, I'm sorry that I haven't made the time to write. You can probably guess the if I haven't written, it's because I haven't made any progress...that's true. I just got "Hip Hop Abs" in the mail, and started that. Ouch! We'll see how that goes.
TTFN
amy
Friday, August 1, 2008
Difficult Transformation
Everyday starts the same way, I think to myself, "I'm going to exercise today" and it ends the same way, "I can't believe I ate the whole Ben & Jerry's". Why is it so hard? When I say to myself that I'm going to clean the apartment, I clean the whole thing. When I need to do laundry, I make time to do it, which is a big deal, because I hate doing laundry at my apartment. There is one washer and one dryer per floor, and there are some people in my building, I haven't caught them yet, who think it's appropriate to touch other peoples' laundry and take it out of the washer or dryer to put their stuff in. It's ridiculous!! Every time I went out to check my laundry last night someone had either opened the washer, or opened the dryer, which stops drying, but the timer continues to count down and it's 25 cents for 12 minutes, not cheap!
Anyways, back to the topic at hand... I realized that this "transformation" is going to be a lot more "difficult" than I thought. I looked up the definition of difficult transformation when I named this blog, but apparently I need to study it a little more.
Difficult: needing much effort or skill to accomplish, deal with, or understand ; characterized by or causing hardships or problems.
Transformation: a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance
No one said this would be easy, but I think my problem is that I want it to be easy, so I only do things as though it will be easy. For instance, committing to wake up at 5am with Jake to work out. It sounds kind of easy, however, I make it more difficult by staying up until midnight. Then when 5am comes, I push snooze for 2 hours and sleep in. It's crazy! My brother-in-law preaches that in order to be dedicated to anything, whether it's prayer, worship, Bible-reading, or exercise, you have to start slow. You can't wake up one day and decide to run a marathon, you have to train for it. You have to build a habit: a settled or regular tendency or practice, esp. one that is hard to give up.
So to begin my good habit of exercising, I'm going to commit to work out 2 days this week and next, then the third week ramp it up to 3 whole days. I already did water aerobics this week, which was actually kind of fun, for like 20 minutes, then I spent the other 30 wishing I was done! It's a pretty good work out. You don't realize how good until the next day when you can't lift your arms! To achieve my goal, I need to work out one more day before Sunday, so I will choose tomorrow. I'm home all day with not a lot to do, so I'll exercise. As for food, I've discovered my new favorite breakfast; the vivanno at Starbucks. It's banana and chocolate, 16grams of protein, which I think is really good. And when I can't go to Starbucks, I can mix a Carnations Instant Breakfast in the blender with a banana, it's sooooo good. I also bought some lowfat Ben & Jerry's this week, it's not bad. Baby steps!
amy
Anyways, back to the topic at hand... I realized that this "transformation" is going to be a lot more "difficult" than I thought. I looked up the definition of difficult transformation when I named this blog, but apparently I need to study it a little more.
Difficult: needing much effort or skill to accomplish, deal with, or understand ; characterized by or causing hardships or problems.
Transformation: a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance
No one said this would be easy, but I think my problem is that I want it to be easy, so I only do things as though it will be easy. For instance, committing to wake up at 5am with Jake to work out. It sounds kind of easy, however, I make it more difficult by staying up until midnight. Then when 5am comes, I push snooze for 2 hours and sleep in. It's crazy! My brother-in-law preaches that in order to be dedicated to anything, whether it's prayer, worship, Bible-reading, or exercise, you have to start slow. You can't wake up one day and decide to run a marathon, you have to train for it. You have to build a habit: a settled or regular tendency or practice, esp. one that is hard to give up.
So to begin my good habit of exercising, I'm going to commit to work out 2 days this week and next, then the third week ramp it up to 3 whole days. I already did water aerobics this week, which was actually kind of fun, for like 20 minutes, then I spent the other 30 wishing I was done! It's a pretty good work out. You don't realize how good until the next day when you can't lift your arms! To achieve my goal, I need to work out one more day before Sunday, so I will choose tomorrow. I'm home all day with not a lot to do, so I'll exercise. As for food, I've discovered my new favorite breakfast; the vivanno at Starbucks. It's banana and chocolate, 16grams of protein, which I think is really good. And when I can't go to Starbucks, I can mix a Carnations Instant Breakfast in the blender with a banana, it's sooooo good. I also bought some lowfat Ben & Jerry's this week, it's not bad. Baby steps!
amy
Friday, July 25, 2008
180...
Well, I was thinking about how difficult weight loss is for me and probably every one else in the world. It seems like no matter how hard I try, I keep gaining. There was one time when I lost a lot of weight, and I was really happy. I weighed about 180 pounds, so I was still chunky, but I was “poppin’” as I like to put it. I managed to keep that size until my wedding at least, so I’m pretty hot in all my wedding photos. Anyways, it seems to me like 180 is so far away.
As I was thinking about the 180 pounds I used to weigh, and how much I would love to be that size again, I thought about what I might have to do to get there. I was thinking, “I’m going to have to do a 180 if I ever want to weigh 180”. My lifestyle is completely going to have to change (this is the part that sucks). For instance, two days ago I went grocery shopping, I bought vegetables, fruit, popcorn, and all healthy frozen dinners for my lunches. The only really indulgent thing I bought was a bag of potato chips. I was so very proud of myself. Then yesterday I had dinner at the mall and bought a Cinnabon. Today was someone’s birthday at work, so I justified the Ice Cream Cake in lieu of breakfast, especially since I had overslept and missed that particular meal. Then I topped the afternoon off with PF Chang’s honey chicken.
It seems like I have good intentions, then real life gets in the way. How do you say “no” to Cinnabon and birthday cake? Like I said, I’m going to have to pull a “180” to make anything happen. As a Christian I have heard it preached that repentance of our sins is also like pulling a “180”. It’s not just asking for forgiveness and then returning to the lifestyle we once knew. We have to turn around and go the opposite direction to avoid repeating the cycle of sin we were used to. So I was thinking, maybe my entire way of viewing food is like the “cycle of sin” that people seem to get stuck in when they first experience Christ but can’t seem to stay in His will. In order to walk in right relationship with God after we ask Jesus into our hearts we have to continuously renew our mind.
Romans 12:2, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
If any man be in Christ he is a new creation, but it is our responsibility to read the Word, spend time in prayer, spend time in worship to be renewed.
So, I thought I would approach this weight loss crisis of mine, just like a spiritual crisis. I know how to read my Bible, I know how to pray, and I know how to worship. So maybe if I apply all that I know about walking with God, to really trying to become a healthier person, I won’t fail this time. I’m going to ask God how I can be a healthier me. I’m going to research different nutritional avenues to see what works best for me. I’ve tried Weight Watchers, I’ve tried Slimfast, I’ve dieted my whole life, and I’ve never been successful. This time I’m trying God. I know He doesn’t care if I’m skinny or fat. But I also know that He has a calling for me and things for me to accomplish, and for those things, I need to be healthier.
Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Well I want to be healthy in that future, so I’m pulling a “180” so I can reach 180.
Amy
As I was thinking about the 180 pounds I used to weigh, and how much I would love to be that size again, I thought about what I might have to do to get there. I was thinking, “I’m going to have to do a 180 if I ever want to weigh 180”. My lifestyle is completely going to have to change (this is the part that sucks). For instance, two days ago I went grocery shopping, I bought vegetables, fruit, popcorn, and all healthy frozen dinners for my lunches. The only really indulgent thing I bought was a bag of potato chips. I was so very proud of myself. Then yesterday I had dinner at the mall and bought a Cinnabon. Today was someone’s birthday at work, so I justified the Ice Cream Cake in lieu of breakfast, especially since I had overslept and missed that particular meal. Then I topped the afternoon off with PF Chang’s honey chicken.
It seems like I have good intentions, then real life gets in the way. How do you say “no” to Cinnabon and birthday cake? Like I said, I’m going to have to pull a “180” to make anything happen. As a Christian I have heard it preached that repentance of our sins is also like pulling a “180”. It’s not just asking for forgiveness and then returning to the lifestyle we once knew. We have to turn around and go the opposite direction to avoid repeating the cycle of sin we were used to. So I was thinking, maybe my entire way of viewing food is like the “cycle of sin” that people seem to get stuck in when they first experience Christ but can’t seem to stay in His will. In order to walk in right relationship with God after we ask Jesus into our hearts we have to continuously renew our mind.
Romans 12:2, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
If any man be in Christ he is a new creation, but it is our responsibility to read the Word, spend time in prayer, spend time in worship to be renewed.
So, I thought I would approach this weight loss crisis of mine, just like a spiritual crisis. I know how to read my Bible, I know how to pray, and I know how to worship. So maybe if I apply all that I know about walking with God, to really trying to become a healthier person, I won’t fail this time. I’m going to ask God how I can be a healthier me. I’m going to research different nutritional avenues to see what works best for me. I’ve tried Weight Watchers, I’ve tried Slimfast, I’ve dieted my whole life, and I’ve never been successful. This time I’m trying God. I know He doesn’t care if I’m skinny or fat. But I also know that He has a calling for me and things for me to accomplish, and for those things, I need to be healthier.
Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Well I want to be healthy in that future, so I’m pulling a “180” so I can reach 180.
Amy
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
In the beginning...
So...I'm not much of a "blogger". In fact, I mis-spell words, write in run-on sentences, and forget to start new paragraphs when I'm on a roll. However, the Holy Spirit has been dealing with me on an issue for some months now, and I must admit, I have procrastinated in obeying.
Let me start with who I am, then we'll go to why I'm here...
My name is Amy Perry, I sing in an amazing Christian group named Selah. It is my dream job, and I'm blessed and honored to get to do it. I get to sing about God for a living and it's great.
I am married, to Jacob Perry, the cutest guy I know. We will celebrate 5 years this November. He is my best friend; he makes me laugh; he's brilliant (in that really nerdy way that makes you mad because he know almost everything); he loves God; and he loves me.
I am an Auntie. I am outgoing. I am goofy. I am a gamer (MMORPG's and XBox 360).
I am 265 pounds and miserable; but miserable about the poundage, not anything else. This is the first time I've ever told anyone my weight. Not even my husband knows the exact number.
Now, to why I'm here. I am here because my weight has fluctuated between 180 and 265 pounds off an on my whole life. I gain it; I lose it. And it makes me miserable. I've been praying about how to finally lose some weight and keep it off for so long now, sometimes it feels like I shouldn't even bother, and then something happened...I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to write about it. First let me say, that I didn't hear an audible voice or anything like that. It was just this nudging in my spirit, over and over every time I prayed about my weight. The problem is, I'm not a writer. I'm a talker. I have friends who have amazing blogs, and I love to read them, not write them.
So, I've procrastinated. But not just because I'm queen of un-ending sentences, but because I started to realize what it means. If I start writing about it, then I actually have to do it, and I think that as much as I've wanted to lose weight, I never wanted it enough to actually try hard at it. Writing it here means that you can write to me. It means that you can help to hold me accountable. It means that if I say I'm going to work out tomorrow, I need to work our tomorrow or I have to log in and tell you all that I'm lazy. It means being responsible, and I haven't been ready for that; until today.
My hope for this blog is that people who deal with weight issues, or have dealt with weight issues would post. I want there to be accountability in my life, I want to be an accountability in your life. I want to know how you lost weight, tips on what to do, what not to do. I want to know that I'm not the only person in the world who loves myself until I look in a mirror, and then something happens inside me and the self-loathing takes over. I want to know that I'm not the only person in the world who sets out to eat fruit and salad and ends up eating half a pizza instead. I want help. I want accountability. I want to be healthier.
Let me end this by saying, that I know that God made me beautiful. I know I am beautiful. My husband tells me I'm beautiful. I know all these things, and yet the insecurity is there. But above anything, I want to feel good. I want to know that my body is healthy. I want to know that I have been a good steward of the body God gave me.
Sure sounds like I want a lot of things, huh? ;)
What I don't want is negativity. If you don't have something helpful or nice to say, then please move on and post somewhere else.
Amy
Let me start with who I am, then we'll go to why I'm here...
My name is Amy Perry, I sing in an amazing Christian group named Selah. It is my dream job, and I'm blessed and honored to get to do it. I get to sing about God for a living and it's great.
I am married, to Jacob Perry, the cutest guy I know. We will celebrate 5 years this November. He is my best friend; he makes me laugh; he's brilliant (in that really nerdy way that makes you mad because he know almost everything); he loves God; and he loves me.
I am an Auntie. I am outgoing. I am goofy. I am a gamer (MMORPG's and XBox 360).
I am 265 pounds and miserable; but miserable about the poundage, not anything else. This is the first time I've ever told anyone my weight. Not even my husband knows the exact number.
Now, to why I'm here. I am here because my weight has fluctuated between 180 and 265 pounds off an on my whole life. I gain it; I lose it. And it makes me miserable. I've been praying about how to finally lose some weight and keep it off for so long now, sometimes it feels like I shouldn't even bother, and then something happened...I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to write about it. First let me say, that I didn't hear an audible voice or anything like that. It was just this nudging in my spirit, over and over every time I prayed about my weight. The problem is, I'm not a writer. I'm a talker. I have friends who have amazing blogs, and I love to read them, not write them.
So, I've procrastinated. But not just because I'm queen of un-ending sentences, but because I started to realize what it means. If I start writing about it, then I actually have to do it, and I think that as much as I've wanted to lose weight, I never wanted it enough to actually try hard at it. Writing it here means that you can write to me. It means that you can help to hold me accountable. It means that if I say I'm going to work out tomorrow, I need to work our tomorrow or I have to log in and tell you all that I'm lazy. It means being responsible, and I haven't been ready for that; until today.
My hope for this blog is that people who deal with weight issues, or have dealt with weight issues would post. I want there to be accountability in my life, I want to be an accountability in your life. I want to know how you lost weight, tips on what to do, what not to do. I want to know that I'm not the only person in the world who loves myself until I look in a mirror, and then something happens inside me and the self-loathing takes over. I want to know that I'm not the only person in the world who sets out to eat fruit and salad and ends up eating half a pizza instead. I want help. I want accountability. I want to be healthier.
Let me end this by saying, that I know that God made me beautiful. I know I am beautiful. My husband tells me I'm beautiful. I know all these things, and yet the insecurity is there. But above anything, I want to feel good. I want to know that my body is healthy. I want to know that I have been a good steward of the body God gave me.
Sure sounds like I want a lot of things, huh? ;)
What I don't want is negativity. If you don't have something helpful or nice to say, then please move on and post somewhere else.
Amy
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